We’ve all been there, haven’t we? It doesn’t matter if our casual friends, neighbors, colleagues or acquaintances are against what our heart says, but when it comes to our closest people, well… it does hurt…a little. Hmm maybe not that little.
Honestly, I am not an expert to write this issue, but this is indeed a deep topic and it has successfully made me reflect when I was preparing my dinner. What I am writing here may not make sense at all since this is only written from my point of view, but let’s try it okay!
So I got two ‘enlightenment’ while I was my cooking my banana pancake (I still can’t move on from Cassey Ho’s almighty banana pancake. Click here for the link!). Here they are:-
- What we say about others speaks more about ourselves than about themselves
- The advice of ‘follow your heart’ is often misused.
1. WHAT WE SAY ABOUT OTHERS SPEAKS MORE ABOUT OURSELVES THAN ABOUT THEMSELVES
Firstly, we have to accept this limitation of ours, whole-heartedly. We may have known our parents, siblings, spouses and best friends for as long as we can remember, but we wouldn’t be able to see, feel, and think like they do. It really requires a great amount of kind understanding, and that’s indeed hard. More often than not, we judge and bombarded them with our point of view of what we think is right for them, before we give them time (if any) to explain.
Once we have acknowledged this limitation, we may be able to understand why they disagree with us at the first place. As cliche as it sounds, it’s because they are not us. They are not able to see, feel and think like we do. Let’s say, our parents. Yes, they love us and we love them too. They always want what is best for us. They have known us since our birth, but what they think is best for us, is still based on their own thinking which have been shaped much longer before than our birth.
So when our closest ones are against what our heart says, it doesn’t mean they are wrong and we are right, or vice versa. It’s simply because what they say about us speaks more about themselves, from their limited point of view. It doesn’t mean they don’t love us. They really do. That’s why they speak the truth (from their point of view), right?
2. THE IDEA OF ‘FOLLOW YOUR HEART’ IS OFTEN MISUSED
How do you know it is really your heart speaking, and not your pride or your ego or your own selfish desire? Many people misuse this idea of ‘follow your heart’ as an absolute truth. ‘Follow your heart’ is not just following your heart. To really listen to what we feel is right a.k.a. follow our heart, really requires a great amount of self-awareness, which most people are still lack of. Again, is it really your heart, or your pride, or your ego or your selfish desire, speaking?
If we keep our mind opened, maybe our closest ones do really have a point that we may have missed. On point No.1, I am not saying that we should 100% totally ignore what they are against of, but maybe…there’s some truth that we aren’t able to see. We should also take them to considerations, discern back about what we feel, because again, we may have wrongly listened to our heart.
Until we have taken enough time to really think (and not just feel) this through, then we’re good to go, I guess..
I know it’s gonna be hard to convince them, but as cliche as it sounds (because I love cliche), love will always win. Love will eventually make them understand. Love will eventually make us appreciate our differences and make us love each other even more.
Still. Listen to what your closest ones say. They may bring you the truth, but if they don’t, that’s okay.
Still. Please follow your heart and what you feel is right.
The heart is the map of your life direction, but don’t blindly follow your heart. Use your brain and all other your five senses to guide you.
P.S: Still. This is just written from my limited point of view. What I write here speaks more about myself than about the truth.