So I was asked to choose between:
- A good and poor guy whom I love, OR
- A good and rich guy whom I don’t really love.
Well, this is a very tricky common question and I’m sure not many of us want to really answer it. Haha.
Before I give any answer, let’s figure out why these question even exists at the first place and is so often asked, either in a serious setting or just as a joke.
If you pay enough attention, such question is often asked to girls, but not that often to guys. The society believes that a girl is allowed (allowed?!) to marry a guy for his money. Well, we have heard tons of stories about this everywhere around the world. My country even has a famous traditional folk story called ‘Siti Nurbaya‘. I never read the full story, but you get the full picture. A young girl, forced to be married to a rich guy, not for love, yada-yada-yada. Oh and even Jane Austen began her famous work of Pride and Prejudice with this sentence:-
It is universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.
If we look back to those eras, well.. girls couldn’t do as much as girls do today. They grew up practicing doing domestic chores and only a few had the chance to learn how to write and read. Basically, they were prepared to get married to rich guys. End of the story.
Well, it’s very understandable since the girls those days didn’t have much freedom to create their own destinies. Marrying a rich guy was a very realistic (if not, the only) option that they had. How about these days then? Is marrying a rich guy still considered as a very ‘realistic’ option that girls have nowadays? Sadly, it is.
Sadly, there is still a saying among the modern girls which goes like this, “I’m so tired to work! Lemme just find a rich guy, marry him, and be a tai-tai.” Well, it could be said on a serious note, a sarcasm, or a light joke, but I personally think that to achieve a gender equality in this world, we, as girls and women, have to entirely eliminate this kind of mindset. I am really looking forward until it comes to a time when such remarks are forever banished in the future.
Okay stop about the feminism. I think you’re gonna get bored if I keep talking about why I believe this and that.. Let’s switch our focus here.
What is Love?
Love is actually a tricky word too. How do you define love? Love for his character? Love for his wealth? Different level of maturity may get a whole 180-degree of different definition.
Oh well, this is indeed a challenging topic (Writing Challenge, hello!). I don’t know how to approach it from a universal view. I initially wanted to write this topic from a politically correct approach, but I guess I have failed. Hahaha. This is so subjective. I may write endless essays from the feminism point of view, but when it comes to love, I am really lost.
So, since this is my blog, and the question is pointed to me, and the world only revolves around me, I guess I will just close it with a cheesy (hopeless romantic) prose written by me.
When I was a little girl, I wish I were a princess and I would meet my prince charming someday and we would live happily ever after.
When I grew up, I still believed in the fairy tale and my prince charming would love me for me and I would love him for him.
I kept singing our song but the world kept shouting that true love never existed; that status, wealth, and security were worth more than true love.
Being a stubborn and an idealist as I was and I still am, our song is still sung. The world can shout how important status, wealth, and security are, but I just don’t care.
One day I made a declaration to never settle for a mediocre love, that I would not exchange love for anything less. Love can’t be bought.
Love is when two is better than one. Love is working together side by side to build a kingdom. The castle may not be grand but that’s okay. For grandness is not eternal. When love is the foundation of our castle, it will stand still forever.
Cheesy, I know. Cheesy than a cheese.
Growing up, the love birds taught me things.
Love a person not because of what he can do for you, but love him for he is, and for how he makes you to be a better person, and how you make him to be a better person too.
Yeah, love is patient, love is kind, love is not boastful, you know this verse well but the important thing is: Love yourself first.
Love yourself first before you love him,
because that’s the only way to be freed from all forms of insecurities,
because that’s the only way to know your worth,
because that’s the only way to say no to settle for mediocrity.
Cheesy, I know. Cheesy than a cheese.
The little girl is not so little anymore, but her idealism never changes.
If you can’t stand the cheesiness, how about this? Auntie Jane Austen once wrote a letter to her niece, Fanny Knight..
And now, my dear Fanny, having written so much on one side of the question, I shall turn round and entreat you not to commit yourself farther, and not to think of accepting him unless you really do like him. Anything is to be preferred or endured rather than marrying without affection; and if his deficiencies of manner, strike you more than all his good qualities, if you continue to think strongly of them, give him up at once…