Find out what you can’t tolerate doing

We have heard the common advice that in order to discover our passion or life purpose is to firstly find out what we love to do.

Some of us may have tons of things that they love doing. Others may have no idea at all about what they love doing. Both can be very confusing. How to choose one out of thousands of options that we have? How to choose one if there are no options at all in our mind?

Instead of focusing on what we love to do, I think it will be better if we try to discover what we don’t want to do. Or in other words, what we can’t tolerate doing. In that way, we can have fewer possible options. If we don’t have any options, we could start to list out things we can’t tolerate doing to have an idea of what we prefer.

There was one time when I was very interested in teaching. I still am, but now I realize that I don’t want pursue it as a career. I love children and I love teaching, but I don’t think I can tolerate the demand to be in actively human interaction all day long. I am an introvert. I love my solitude. I’m still able to tolerate to teach once in a while, but I guess not I should have seen this coming before I tried to give a part-time tuition, right? But we won’t know what it really takes if we never try it for ourselves. Trying also teaches us more about ourselves. We think we know ourselves well, but the fact is we barely know ourselves. We can’t pursue something if the nature of doing that activity is not in line with our personality.

Hence, I crossed out ‘teaching’ from my list.

I don’t think the journey to find ourselves will be an instant process. It may take a lifetime. Don’t stop, just keep going. Some may be lucky enough to have known what they want since they are young. They may not need to do all these (non-sense) so-called soul-searching, but that doesn’t mean we have to keep comparing our lives to theirs. I know it is very tempting to do so (specially thanks to social media), but really, just keep trying and don’t give up.

It may also be helpful to change our perspectives as well. There are many phases in life and I think that our calling is subject to change according to what phase we are in now. There is no way a person is just destined to do only that one thing. Open and expand your mind.


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