The problem with me working too much lately isn’t because of the exhaustion. I do love my job, but I’ve kinda forgotten the real purpose of why I am doing it at the first place.
The benefit with me working too much is more income. But if money were what I were looking for, I wouldn’t have pursued this career at the first place. That is why money is not an enough motivation, especially when it is the only incentive available.
The problem is my unawareness with the possibility of losing myself in my dream job.
Nobody talks about what it is after you landed the dream job. Nobody talks about how it is important to stay courageous even after you take the leap of faith.
Nobody talks about the courage to stay true to yourself. Because the temptation of security and stability is always there.
The right thing that I can do now is to take a few steps back to remind myself of what I want, of what my purpose is. Why I love it at the first place.
I’m grateful for the fact that I can save myself before I fall down to the ‘trap’. Again. I just don’t wanna feel trapped again, blaming on the circumstances, while actually I do have a choice to take control of my own life. It is a privilege, yes, and I am lucky enough, yes. Just very lucky enough. But still it is a gift that I have to make use of for a purpose rather than to satisfy my own needs.